This is something I hear a lot of my friends complain…
"I can’t stop thinking about him/her…why can’t I stop? I don’t want to, but I do…ugh…"
"I keep thinking horrible thoughts about myself…I’m so depressed…"
"I can’t help but think this isn’t going to work…it’s going to fail…"
One common mistake I witness a lot of people make, including myself, is that we believe there’s this mountaintop of perfection that we haven’t reached yet. On this mountaintop…we’ll only think positive thoughts. We’ll never experience a negative emotion again. We’ll be forever happy…always smiling…not a care in the world. But, this isn’t realistic…this is never attainable…and this belief will only send one sinking ever more into despair.
Here’s the kicker: YOU CAN’T STOP YOUR THOUGHTS. That’s right…you can’t. But, what you CAN do is choose to believe the thought, or not believe the thought. You can acknowledge a thought, or you can ignore a thought. Thoughts are messengers. They’re sent to teach you something…so DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER! 
If the messenger is coming to you with information…you have a CHOICE…you can accept the information and do something POSITIVE about it. Or, you can NOT accept the information and tell the messenger a POSITIVE reason why. Either choice requires action. And, this action will empower you…you’ll notice some thoughts go away because you’ve corrected the messenger. Others will prompt further self development.
With either choice, you’ll be at peace…because no longer do you feel you’re on a never ending climb to the top of the Mountain of Perfection. You’ll realize that this life is about learning along every step of your journey. The messengers are coming to teach you. So, listen to what they have to say and choose accordingly.
01/17/2008 at 1:45 pm
I enjoyed your blog, I often hear the same things from my friends. Trying to attain that perfect relationship leaves most doubting themselves and their relationship often before it gets off the ground. I never thought about your thoughts requiring a necesary action. I could’nt agree more, because whatever your reaction to your thoughts you are forced to deal with it, therefore growing as a person in some sense. I like to remember when and if I doubt a relationship, we are all imperfect people, two imperfect people cannot create a perfect relationship. It is up to us to make the best of that imperfect relationship. Thanks for the food for thought….:)
01/17/2008 at 2:27 pm
Thanks for the comment…glad you enjoyed it!
01/25/2008 at 5:13 pm
YES!!! I’ve been here plenty of times. Great insight!!! Keep it coming.
06/28/2009 at 4:53 pm
[...] by Tiko under Just Me Leave a Comment Today marks the one year anniversary of the day I started this blog. I started this blog because I felt like I had a lot to say and a lot to share. I just [...]