My heart feels pain that no medicine can erase…

My heart knows what my mind cannot acknowledge…

My heart refuses…

to believe

what

is

true

‘What about your heart, Sid?’

My heart is with hip hop

and I wish it wasn’t dead

Cuz hip hop…

‘I used to love you, I still do, and I always will.’

You whisper sweet nothings in my ear

while you slip poison in my drink.

Your wise words cause me to doubt

my wise thoughts…

But today I will endure the unfamiliarity

of trusting the voices within;

I will not drink your drink today.

because it's not my fault

this is your issue, not mine

I've tried so many times to take the blame for you

to protect you from dealing with the consequences of your actions

but, i can't anymore

the pain is just too much

the daggers of your words and intonations

have finally brought a death to my innocence.

I'm not going to cry, not this time

because this is my fault

this is my issue, not yours

I've enabled you and embedded a belief in my heart

that I should accept your ways because of love.

But today I remove these daggers and I return them to you.

Today I mend my heart and cherish it for it is deserving of 

a love that feels good, strengthens and encourages

today I give birth to my true authentic self.