Yesterday was my sister’s birthday. She would have been 24 yesterday.  It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 9 years since she transitioned.  Sometimes I catch myself thinking of what she would be like, how she’d wear her hair now, what we would be doing together, what we’d talk about, who she’d be dating…  Sometimes I fantasize about us shopping together, laughing, being goofy, ganging up on our little brother…just being sisters.  I have to admit, there are times when I feel cheated, and I become angry.  There are times when I feel like a victim and become really sad.  It’s not that often, but that day came the day before her birthday.  It was really hard to deal with and I pretty much kept to myself the whole day and shut down.

After reaching out for support, I felt a bit better and decided to spend her birthday in celebration of her life.  I decided to focus on the good memories and I was reminded that she is always with me.  It’s a tradition for me to go to Olive Garden her birthday, because that was her favorite restaurant.  On my way there, it was raining slightly and all of a sudden the sun came out.  And, next thing I knew the biggest, clearest, most beautiful rainbow I have EVER seen in my life appeared!  I was in total awe and amazement.  I instantly knew it was a sign from her.

I knew instantly that I am never separated from her.  She is always with me.  And, no matter what is going on in my life, the sun is always going to shine in the morning.  I was comforted knowing that it’s okay to feel sad, to grieve, and to sometimes feel angry.  I just have to be patient with myself and trust that it will pass.  And, it did.  Seeing that rainbow was a reminder that I am never forsaken.  Comfort, peace, joy, and love are available to me at ALL times.  There is no separation.  Separation is simply an illusion.

I get to the airport with a half hour till departure time. I’m still optimistic until I turn into the wrong parking lot in the wrong terminal. Oh God, please help me! A little bit of me begins to panic. Not only do I have to walk through this large parking lot to the terminal, I’ve also got to then walk to the correct terminal (if you’ve ever flown through ATL International Airport, you know this is quite the feat).

Twenty minutes left and I’ve made it to the correct terminal to find that the ticketing station for my airline is all the way at the end of the terminal! I’m still walking as fast as I can while a small voice inside says that I’m definitely gonna miss my flight. I ignore it…and keep walking. I finally get to the self check-in with fifteen minutes left to find that my flight’s been DELAYED!! YES!! Not only will I be able to make my flight, but I’ll also be able to get something to eat!

I was sooo happy and I stopped to think…what if I had given up? How many times are we almost there, but things look bleak, so we throw in the towel? And, I’m not just talking about catching a flight.  How many times do we get discouraged when something in our lives isn’t working out the way we want it to, and so we just quit? I’ve learned that when it’s something I want to really give it my all. If I’ve given it my all, and it still doesn’t work out, I have no regrets…:)

I’ve had the divine opportunity lately to see things from the other side, and I’ve learned a few things:

1.  When people give unsolicited advice, it’s usually because they really love me and the intention is usually a good one.  Sometimes the advice doesn’t go over so well, sometimes it can come off as rude, and sometimes it actually is rude…but most times, it comes from a place of love and/or misguided fear.

2.  When confused, conflicted, or in conflama…the key to being clear is always to get away, be still, and listen to my heart.  In making tough choices, taking time alone for a period of time to really get clear on what I want is the most loving thing I can do for myself and everyone involved.

3.  The future is not always evident, that’s why there’s faith.  Sometimes I have to listen to my heart, take a risk, and just make a move.  Either I make a decision, or life will make the decision for me, and most times the latter isn’t very pretty.  Proactive living is always more enjoyable than reactive living.

4.  After becoming aware of what’s in my heart, I must then take ACTION.

5.  I am the co-creator of my life, I am NOT a victim!

6.  The answer to every problem comes in prayer and meditation.

I love the opportunities to learn, to make mistakes, to start again, to do things a different more loving way.  Even though some things are painfully learned the hard way, I know that I always have another chance to make a different choice.  I always have the opportunity to see things from a different perspective.  When I don’t understand someone, I know for sure that life will give me the opportunity to see it from the other side…

There are so many things that I want to accomplish and I feel like I want to do them all right NOW.  But, I have to remind myself that life is about the journey not about the goals we set.  It’s about how we operate in attaining the goals.  It’s about enjoying the process, having fun, relaxing, actually living my life.  It’s about taking it one day at a time.  I don’t always have to know how I’m getting to where I’m going.  I don’t have to have all the answers either.

“Just make choices that will keep you empowered…

ultimately for your highest good and good of others.”

-C.Y.

I don’t know if that did anything for you…lol.  But, for me it was an easy way to test if my choices are supporting me or pushing me down that slippery slide.  Simply asking myself the question, ‘is this choice empowering me?’, is enough to keep me on sturdy ground.

Are you making empowering choices?  Are you making choices that will propel you, lift you to the next level, and strengthen you?  Something to think about…:)

Take the time to take things slow for once.  Relax and enjoy the sunshine, listen your favorite song, take a nap for once, buy yourself some flowers, spoil yourself with a nice bubble batch, cry, laugh…do what makes you happy in the moment.  Trust yourself and be kind to yourself.  Only you can make yourself happy.  Why not start now?  :)

The mechanic called me later to say that the tests showed that there was something in my car that was constantly pulling energy from the battery, even when the car wasn’t on.  They looked through the car to find the culprit and later found that it was my car alarm draining the car.

You see, when I first got the car, my parents took it to the neighborhood mechanic to hook up an alarm system in my car that was cheaper than the manufacturer’s alarm.  Yeah…it was bootleg..don’t judge me…lol.  This alarm was installed incorrectly and was causing a major energy drain without me even knowing it.

And, I thought to myself…how often does this happen in our lives?  How often do we subconsciously hold onto people, old situations, old stories, old beliefs, old relationships that are literally sucking the life out of us, and we don’t even know it?  How often do we keep people in our lives that no longer feed us, and instead leave us feeling depleted?  How often do we stay at jobs that no longer challenge, inspire, or fulfill us?  How often do we avoid stepping outside the box, only to stay cramped and stunted doing the same ole, same ole day in and day out.

I’m learning to recognize the energy drains in my life.  I’m learning when it’s time to let go and move on.  Sometimes it has nothing to do with ‘the people’ or ‘that job’.  Sometimes, it’s simply the mind set, or belief attached to them that is causing the energy drain.

What’s causing the energy drain in your life?  Are you ready to let go and move on?  Are you ready to stand in your power and go for what you really want?

My heart feels pain that no medicine can erase…

My heart knows what my mind cannot acknowledge…

My heart refuses…

to believe

what

is

true

‘What about your heart, Sid?’

My heart is with hip hop

and I wish it wasn’t dead

Cuz hip hop…

‘I used to love you, I still do, and I always will.’

The property is worth $100…the bids have already gotten to around $325.  All of a sudden here come the voices:  “You know what, that property isn’t even worth all that!”, “You’re gonna spend all your money on that property and not have enough to survive later!”, “You always lose at Monopoly anyways…just let  her have it and  call it a night already, who cares!”, “Ugh, this isn’t fair…how come I ALWAYS lose at Monopoly!” 

Then, all of a sudden it dawns on me…this is how I operate in my life!  Wow… 

I may know that I want something and I may even know that it’s meant for me…but…

-it doesn’t come easy
-it costs more than I thought it would
-I worry that I won’t be able to handle it
-I’m afraid I’m gonna fall on my face if I try
-I remind myself of how many times I failed before
-I make up stories in my mind about how horrible things are going to turn out

So, instead of taking the risk and trusting myself and trusting that God is gonna have my back, I usually throw in the towel before I even try!  I fail before I even start!  Instead of trusting that I have an ABUNDANCE of resources available to me, I refuse to look past what I have now.  I refuse to look past what I’ve had before.

Now, back to the Monopoly game.  This time I decided to do something different.  So, yes…I stayed in the auction…I paid a ridiculous amount of money for my light blue Monopoly.  But, guess what?  Even though everyone else had at least two Monopoly’s on the rich side of town…I won!  I was ok!  Yes, I landed on their property’s and had to come out of a lot of money, but somehow, someway I always had enough.  And, eventually having enough turned into an abundance of resources!

This is not just about a simple game of Monopoly.  It’s really about what the game represents.  And I came to such a huge awareness last night.  I’m so thankful for this because I’ve been really working on watching what I say and being more conscious of  the thoughts I meditate on daily.  It’s so easy to slip on a pair of worrying, complaining, cranky pants.  But, the thing is…it’s a CHOICE.  I’m learning how sometimes I subconsciously make choices to be negative and consequently create negative situations for myself.  I know that the only way to break this habit is to set an intention to be aware and conscious when I’m about to slip into worry mode.  It is then that I can make the choice to trust myself, trust God, stay positive, and get out there and truly live my life.  I can create the life I want, there’s no need to worry about how it’s going to happen.

Then I grew up…lol. In college, I had the biggest wake up call of my life. I was no longer the quick learner. I was now the one that was lost in class. But, did I ask for help??? No. I looked at asking for help as a weakness. I continued this nasty habit for a long time, even though it was an evil form of self sabotage. And, this habit wasn’t just limited to school…this was a habit I carried out in all areas of my life. I never wanted to admit I didn’t know something, or couldn’t do something. I’d wait until I was desperate before admitting I needed help.

I’ve gotten a lot better at this, I’ve since learned that no man is an island and two heads are better than one, etc., etc. But there are still times when I recognize this evil habit is back at it again. I call it the Super Woman Syndrome. Once again, I find I pride myself in being able juggle and maintain a thousand things at once with no outside help and with no problem. I feel good sharing my superhero story with anyone that will listen. That is until everything begins to fall apart. Then, I’m forced to admit that I can’t do it all by myself and I’m forced to ask for help, and then I feel like I’m weak for having done so. I feel as if I’m admitting I have flaws and that I’m not perfect.

I realize, however, it doesn’t have to be that way. Asking for help is not a weakness, asking for help is actually a sign of intelligence…lol. NOT asking for help is a sign of weakness! I realize that I when I ask for help or delegate certain tasks, I free up a lot more time to give the important things more attention. I free up a lot more time to enjoy my life. I free up a lot more time to REST. When I ask for help, it just makes life easier and fun!

Asking for help forces me to get over my own insecurities. I’m reminded that I’m human and I make mistakes. I’m not perfect. Making mistakes or falling short is not a bad thing. That is the way that I learn, that is the way that I grow. And, if I try my best to avoid making a mistake or to be perfect, I’ll miss great opportunities to grow. Asking for help also helps in building relationships and strengthening them. When I ask for help, I’m letting someone know that I trust them. I’m also admitting to them that I’m not perfect and it puts them at ease to be themselves as well.

Admittedly, it’s hard…but I’m acknowledging here that I need help. I can’t do it all by myself. I don’t know everything. Sometimes I am wrong and sometimes I make mistakes. I am human…not a super hero…

The video above is about an organization called Urban Farming. Urban Farming is an international 501c3 headquartered in Detroit, Michigan that plants food on unused land and space and gives it to the needy. Their mission is to end hunger in our generation. Gardens are planted on unused land in cities, on rooftops, on walls, in planters in malls and sidewalks cafes and have Green Science Gardens in school campuses K-college.

Garden Sites:
Detroit
New York
Los Angeles
St. Louis
Newark
New Orleans
Atlanta
Raleigh, North Carolina
Chicago
Jamaica
Montego Bay
England
Canada
Haiti

Ways You Can Help:
-Monetary Donations
-Individual and Group volunteers from Youth Departments of Faith Based Organizations, Girls Scouts, Boy Scouts, Senior Groups, Employee Groups, Groups of Friends or Family Groups, etc.
-Farming and gardening equipment donations
-Interns from the Agricultrual Department of Universities
-Farming volunteers that know how to create rainwater preservatives and compost
-Video documentation

To learn more or donate, please visit the Urban Farming website.

As some of you know, I lost my sister to leukemia in August of 2001. It’s hard to believe it’s been 8 years. I still feel like it was just yesterday that she was with us. People often ask what is my fondest memory of her, and I have to say that it was my last night with her, a day before she died. My parents and I used to rotate spending the night with her in the hospital, and that night was mine. I remember she was really sad that particular night, and when I look back on things, I believe that she knew inside that it was her time to go soon. I can’t remember our conversation word for word, but I do remember when she turned to me and said, “I love you Tiko.” I told her I loved her too, and I asked her did she want me to lay in the bed with her. She said yes (and if any of you knew her, I mean, knew her, knew her…you know she was feeling extra sentimental, cause she NEVER shared her bed…lol…).

I felt so honored to crawl in the bed with her. I held her and rubbed her head till she fell asleep. I kissed her and told her everything was gonna be ok, and that I loved her. The next day, she went into a coma and shortly thereafter went to heaven. But, I’ll always cherish that memory. I’m comforted by the fact that I got a chance to say I love you to her while she was still living.

Listen people, cherish your loved ones. Do your best. If you know you’ve hurt someone you love, make amends. If you have a chance to make a lasting memory with someone, do it. We really need to stop all the hating, all the mean-spirited gossiping, and all these self-righteous attacks of one another. Seriously, it’s really sad how the media has had nothing but horrible things to say about Michael over the past few years…and it seems like now all of a sudden they wanna eat their words.

We need to give our loved ones their roses while they’re still living. We need to respect one another, and realize that we’re all down here doing our best. NONE OF US have it all 100% correct. Not one.

-Pause before giving an answer – Instead of feeling compelled to automatically reply with gleeful affirmation, I’m practicing taking a deep breath after the request is asked.  If I have time to get back with the person with my answer, I then say, “That sounds great, let me think about it and get back with you”.  While I am by myself, I take the time to tune in to my heart and I ask myself three questions…1) Do I really want to do this?, 2) Do I really have time to do this?, 3) Does this FEEL good to me?  If I can answer all three questions affirmatively, then I agree to the request…otherwise, I politely decline the request.  If I don’t have time to really think about it, I find that taking a deep breath and quickly tuning in to how I FEEL about the request is enough to give me an honest answer.  Plus, the more you practice this, the easier it will get to really gauge how you feel about a request. 

-Find a Win-Win solution - There is always a win-win solution to any problem if you take the time to really look for it.  A win-win solution to a problem is one that leaves all parties involved feeling their needs are fulfilled.  If you can’t do something, a win-win solution can be as simple as suggesting someone else that can follow through with the request.  If you don’t want to do something, but the underlying need is to simply spend time with you, a win-win solution can be as simple as suggesting an alternative activity.  To find win-win solutions, sometimes you have to get really creative.  It helps, however, to really look at what the underlying need is and finding a way to fulfill that need in a way that feels good to you.

-Be confident in your decision- This one is the hardest for me.  I think this one is hard for me, and many others, because deep down inside you just want the other person to be happy.  But, one thing I’ve learned over the years is that I deserve to be happy too.  In fact, I have to ensure my happiness because I’m the only one who can.  When we are confident in our decisions, others respect us more.  We teach others how to treat us.  If we make ourselves doormats and go-to people, then that’s exactly how we will be treated.  Being a people pleaser, to some, seems like the kind thing to do.  But, honestly it’s not, because as a people pleaser you do things for the wrong reasons, and it’s not from the heart.  Honestly committing to things that you feel good about doing is kinder because your efforts are filled with LOVE.  Others know that you did it because you really wanted to and that feels so much better than someone doing something begrudgingly. 

This is seemingly easier said than done, because sometimes others will give us a hard time because of their own selfish reasons.  But, we have to be confident in our own decisions and give ourselves approval instead of waiting for approval from someone else.  It feels weird at first, and honestly sometimes I second, third, and fourth guess myself.  But, your heart doesn’t lie, and you have to learn to trust your heart.  If in your heart you know this isn’t the right way to go, trust it.  The more we practice this, the easier it will get to trust ourselves and feel confident in our decisions.

These are things that have been working for me lately.  How do you keep yourself from being on automatic response?

Morning Messages
by Peggy Black

Joy is the elixir for all things. Bring more joy into your tasks. When you radiate a vibration of joy, however mild, there is a shift in response within your body that is reflected in the response of your reality.

It can be an easy as a smile on your face as you do one of your many tasks. This will create a different message to your body and you will shift the usual stress responses to your work and busyness into a more conscious relaxed state of mind/heart.
Become aware of the stages or subtle frequencies of the emotional vibration you label joy. There is ecstasy, rapture, bliss, jubilation, delight, happiness, cheer, gladness, and pleasure. Practice the different frequencies of joy.

Be delighted. Celebrate the small wonders all around you. Rejoice with your breath. Smile for no reason, just smile into the moment. Allow new face muscles to be discovered as you smile into your concerns and worries.

Find cause to laugh, giggle, or radiate cheerfulness, practice being light-hearted, carefree, and elated about the miracles in your life or the miracles of the moment. Be happy, be bright, rejoice and enjoy. Be in Joy.

The skill of maintaining an attitude and frequency of joy is a most important skill. Imagine that you have a joy muscle and you have not exercised it enough. You need to stretch it, expand it and fully express it. Allow joy in any form to proceed you.

Smile as you answer the phone, make a meal, and pay your bills. Smile into the mirror each time you look at your image, smile at your reflection. Smile as you are falling asleep at night. Practice smiling even while you are thinking.

Place your awareness in your heart when you smile. This is a powerful alchemical practice. The simple act of smiling from your heart will attract more joy, bliss, and happiness into your life.

The physical tasks will flow easier, your body will respond by being relaxed with less stress. The worries will evaporate; the tasks will be completed with ease and grace. Joy will clear the way for incredible miracles and expansion. This is a wonderful skill to practice and use that will enhance everything in your life.

The energy field that radiates from joy will transform any experience, activity, outcome or results. Your joy will be like a healing balm to yourself and others in your life. Practice your joy in all is wondrous forms.

www.morningmessages.com